i'm doing fine here....
everything's fine.. except the occasional "i miss you" mood...
hahaha.. sighs..

it's almost end of january...
and... i feel like going home...
haha..
home's better than being in the camp 24/7....

it's true...

haha.. i guess this blog will be very.. very.. slow in updating... i'm sorry...
i need to pay for internet access here.. hahaha...

anyway, i'm fine here... with aircon bunks and water heaters... hahaha.. and all rooms have own tvs and radios.. some have xbox and playstation 2.. hahaha...

and as of now, i dunno how much my bill will be.. hehe.. it's a lot i guess.. i dunno.. but i'm sure my allowance can pay them off.. hahaha...

hope everyone's doing great.. i'm still alive here.. hahaha...

see ya around~

so here i am in brunei.. temburong..
listening to the sounds of the crickets...
thinking of the loved ones....
thinking of sayang....

got not much time to blog.. hahaha... well u see, i'm on prepaid card here.. and i have one hour to do everything before someone else gets their turn..
interesting trip i'd say...

hahaha... was at changi airport around 1200.. which was 30 mins before the gates open for luggage check in. only my parents see me off from the airport.. haha.. no big hoohas... :P yeah~ the point is, it was freezing over there.. and my jacket's with .. hehe.. u know.. my darling. so i was hugging and hugging myself for warmth... den we checked in luggage and i had 2 hours till departure time...

went inside the transit area.. and found myself loads of xbox and free internet access with mic and camera!! wahhahaha.. so i spent my time there chatting with some ppl who appear to be online at that time.. which was around 1am... when it's almost 2, i decided to walk slowly to the gates la... and den, the announcement came and called for me.. wahhaha... said i have to report there.. NOW! waahhH~~~

i got the window seat... hehe.. looked at the left wing of the plane.. had a light meal, which was chicken and rice.. hahaha.. and i fell asleep with orange juice in hand and an empty cup beside it... wahhaha... i woke up feeling very sharp pain in the right ear... lasted till we landed... aiya.. haha.. and my cup was gone.. hahah.. they took it away when i slept.. heh...

we boarded a coach... hmm well i have to stop here.. no time to blog already... good night everyone.. just know that i reach brunei airport at 430.. and reached my camp at 9.. wahhaha go figure.. took a boat here.. :P

and of cos, i miss my sayang a lot a lot... miss noorhana atiqah... i love u..
i'll see you in 3 months i hope... or i'll wait till 6 months which i CAN take regardless of ippt... nite... sweet dreams baby... i will... *muacks*

currently in the departure hall!! and there's xbbox!!!! wuuhoo!!! and guess what?! the msn has WEBCAM ON!!!! wahhahahahah!!! sexxaayyyY~~!!!!

tonight, i have to go...
a part of me used to be enthusiastic about it...
used to love the thought of getting
somehow it's not here anymore...

i love to see you near..
i love to hear your voice on the phone...
and in person...
and i cant bear to leave all this for money...

loving you has been the best hobby...
the best gift anyone could have...
and to see you smile after all the effort...
it just makes life worth living for...

and i reach out my hand...
one last time before i leave...
so hold it close like u'll never want to let go...
cos you're the only one for me...

-Farhan Suhada

oh yah, anybody out there wants to earn extra income....? i have lobang... and it doesnt take much of your time.. and the income is dependant on how much you want it to be... for more information, just give a call or sms me at my handphone... or send me email... or even tag there, leaving me information to contact you...

attention all pioneer JC students, erm.. pioneer JC ex-students for that matter..

head down to http://www.pac.org.sg/ for the Alumni's Online magazine...

it doesnt hurt to look, even once... hahaha.. yeah~

went for bowling on saturday with sayang, fiza and hafiz... ahhaha.. no no.. not the hafiz that u guys know.. it's hafiz the brother of sayang.. hahaha yeah.. so we met at .. erm.. chua chu kang mrt station la.. it was a bright and sunny day anyway.. hahaha.. and slight drizzle in bukit batok... but then for a while only.. hahaha oh yah, and on THAT day, i had no cash.. hahah... my pay havent come in yet, and my ez link's left with 4 cents... wahhahahah!!!

so my dad decided to borrow me his 50 bucks first cos he needs the cash for credit card payment.. and since i'll get my pay on monday, he didnt mind passing them to me.. hahaha.. so i went to top up my card, and waited for ALL of them at the platform... ah.. and as usual, when everyone's supposed to meet at 2, it means come after 2... be it 10 or 30 minutes.. hahaha.. cos it's perfectly alright to come later.. *rolls eyes* so anyway, after everyone arrives, we took the train to bugis where supposed we're going to have lunch and our game..

so we went for lunch after prayers.. it's this small coffeeshop near amiran's that sells halal CHINESE food.. wahhahha! okie.. what are the implications...?
1. It's cheap
2. More stuffs and quantity in one serving
3. Delicious
4. IT'S CHINESE FOOD!!!
5. The wanton noodle's nice.. hahaha and so is the roasted chicken rice.

=P ... wahhahaha.. and everyone was scattered all over the place while the uncle tried to take down our orders.. hahahaha... cos we didnt know what to eat.. sayang had lor mee, hafiz had mee siam (wahhahahha) , fiza had laksa penang, and me, i had the roasted chicken rice!! wahhahaahaha...

and while eating, the rain started to pour.. dang.. it gets heavier and heavier and heavier... and sayang was laughing at the poor old angmos that were seated on the uncovered upper deck of a bus.. i think it's this, visit singapore bus ah.. that tours around places of interest.. hahaha cos apparently, they were panicking trying to get to the lower decks.. hahaha.. they're quite old mind you.. granddads and grandmums.. hahaha...

and so, we waited for the rain to stop.. and it didnt.. even after we finished our meals... den suddenly, someone had this... BRIGHT idea to walk/run/jog in the rain to the bowling alley... ahh.. (from the coffeeshop to the alley is a long long walk there) and yes, surprisingly, everyone agreed... hhahaha.. probably all very excited to play.. hahahaha

so we ran.. and jog.. and walk across the streets and pavements and got drenched ... very ... and i recall hafiz running across a 4 lane road.. and running back after he ran to the other side.. and ran to the other side again with us.. wahhahah!! aper seh.. hahahhaha

and passerbys and shop owners went like.. "waahhhh!! so wet ar u guys...?" "eh, not scared of the rain ah...?" "basahnyaaaaaa~~!!!"

wahhahahaha!!! oh well.. hahaha.. and sayang was freezing.. so i gave my waterproof jacket to her after we reached the place.. i know i know.. should have given her earlier rite? hahaha but she's wearing black.. and it doesnt look soaked though it's soaked.. hahaha.. *sorry sayang* yeah.. so, we took the lift up to the 8th floor... wahhaha... waiting anxiously for it to reach the level.... and guess what.....? "Plaza Bowl is closed for upgrading it's electrical connections" WAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! all that walking and running and jogging in the rain was for NOTHING!! wahhahahahhahah!!!!

yeah.. haha.. and on the way down the lift, fiza played with her shoe and gave that squeky sound... and there's and uncle in front of us.. hahaha.. and he wants to turn but he didnt want to turn kind of gesture.. WAHHAHA!! and he quickly walked out of the lift when it FINALLY opened!! wahhahahahah!!! he must be thinking "what a bunch of crazy wet kids" hahahaha~~

yeah.. oh well.. hahaha... so we didnt get to play... and decided to go ice skating.... but after we boarded a bus towards woodlands, and dropped at city hall station, fiza wanted to sleep.. *PENGZ!!!* so in the end, everyone wants to go home.. hahaha.. yeah la.. understandable.. wet and sticky.. hehehe.. but it was fun.. hahaha.. running around in the rain.. hehehe...

till next time! ciaoz!

You create the experience of love by giving the gift of acceptance and appreciation. Just look at how you feel when someone genuinely accepts and appreciates you. Doesn't this feel great? Of course it does.

You feel better about yourself and better about your life. You also feel better about the person who accepts and appreciates you. Automatically, you become accepting and appreciative in return.

Now notice how you feel when someone is non-accepting towards you. Notice how you feel when someone is critical of you or tries to change you. Notice how fast the experience of love disappears.

Instantly, you get hurt. You get upset and close down. You put up your walls of protection and automatically become non-accepting and critical in return.

Then the other person gets upset, puts up his or her walls of protection, and becomes even more non-accepting towards you.

Then you get even more upset. Your walls of protection get stronger and you become more critical of the other person.

Then that person gets more upset and becomes more resentful of you. Then you become more hateful towards the other person. Without knowing, you create a cycle of conflict, a cycle of resisting, attacking and withdrawing from each other. This cycle of conflict then destroys your relationship and produces tremendous suffering.

If you have any relationship that isn't working, this cycle is present. If you want to heal your relationship and end the conflict, you need to end this cycle.

Fortunately, all it takes is one person.

The cycle of conflict is like a tennis volley. Two people are needed to keep the cycle going. Only one is needed to end it. When one person stops playing the game, the cycle is over.

You stop playing the game when you give acceptance and appreciation instead of being critical and resentful.

To make the shift from criticalness to acceptance, you need to let go of your resistance. You can do this by taking the following steps:

1. Find and heal the hurt that has been reactivated by the other person

Ultimately, the reason you are non-accepting is because the other person has reactivated some hurt in you. As you heal this hurt, the need to resist disappears. You can then interact in a way that creates love instead of destroying it.

2. Give the person full permission to be the way he or she is

Notice that the other person is the way he or she is whether you like it or not. Your feelings are totally irrelevant. Hating the way someone is doesn't change a thing. That person is still exactly the way he or she is. When you fight the truth of how someone is, you fuel the cycle of conflict and you lose your ability to see what needs to be done. When you are at peace with the way the someone is, you see your situation clearly. You can see what needs to be done and you can do it in a way that is supportive.

3. Forgive the person

When you resent someone, a big part of you closes down. You become bitter and lose your ability to love. You also interact in a way that automatically creates opposition and resistance against yourself. Forgiveness is not for the other person, forgiveness is for you.

4. Let the person go

When you hang on to someone, you push the person away. The person feels suffocated and has to fight for breathing room. Just look at how you feel when someone hangs on to you. To have any relationship work, you have to be willing to lose the person.

5. Accept full 100% responsibility for the loss of love

Relationships are not 50/50. They are 100/100. Each person is 100% responsible for the presence or absence of love in a relationship. Once you see your 100% responsibility for the loss of love, you can no longer blame the other person. You also become more effective in all your future relationships.

6. See that you are just like the other person

Any characteristic that you can't stand in another person is an aspect of you that you can't stand in yourself. Once you discover that this characteristic is also in you, your resistance towards the other person gets replaced with compassion. You also become more at peace with yourself.

7. Get with the person and clean up your relationship

Once you let go of your resistance towards someone, the next step is to get with the person and clean up your relationship. Tell the person that you've had some major self-discoveries and that now you're interacting in a new way.

Take full responsibility for what happened and ask the person to please forgive you. If you have been hanging on, give the person freedom to leave.

Say whatever you need to say to clean up your relationship. Then follow your statement up with action. Make sure the other person always feels loved, accepted and appreciated.

Every time you interact with someone, you will either create love or destroy love, and whatever you give will come right back.

So put the focus on ending the conflict and restoring the love, not necessarily as husband and wife, but as one human being to another.

As you do this, you will heal both your relationship and your hurt. You will also create a life that is a lot more enjoyable.

- from this a war and SHAX

******************

in a relationship, conflicts are bound to happen. i'm sorry...

everything's messed up...

sorry ....

no mood to talk to anyone...

nite...

*looks at the calendar* january 7th... 11 more days before i leave Singapore. Ah yes, i just received news that i'm officially off to Brunei for my 1 year tour overseas yesterday. i'll be leaving Singapore on the 18th 0230hrs.... hahaha.. a chartered SQ flight in the middle of the night.. yeah~ ah.. so those of u who want stuffs from brunei, i dunno what's there.. hahahaha! u want a cicada...? the size of a rat...? wahhahahahahah!!

just now i cleared my toolbox, sort of like, returned all the tools that were issued to me. ah.. it was a tough job.. fine la fine la.. dun believe me.. hahahaha.... it's tough cos when u work with other technicians, the tools gets mixed up and u dun realise it... and in the end, when u check ur tools, some gets missing.. and some extras..... so i lost several tools.. including socket extensions and RACHET.. god! no one loses a rachet... except that someone else has more than 1 rachet... yeah.. so i spent the whole day looking for tools.. asking around... trading extra tools.. and in the end, i managed to clear it.. wahhaha... the toolstore ic was like "can u lose some tools....?" wahhaha that was after he checked most of the tools in my box.. hahahaha...
but it was short lived... he noticed that the screwdrivers were not the ones issued... due to the difference in it's length and width... aiya.. hahahahaha ... so i went around and exchanged again.. and yaay~ hahahahhaha

so after clearing toolbox, i have to get signatures from my company's main appointment holders, HQ appointment holders, S1, S3, S4 branch too.... aiya.. it's irritating cos the higher ranks will tell u that they dun want to sign cos the lower ranks havent signed yet... i'm like.. wah lau.. why cant he/she sign while she's still here? i mean, what if on monday he/she decides to fall sick or have some urgent meeting ker....? den where do i get the signatures seh.... *shakes head* but it's okie la.. i think i might need to come down to camp for 2 more days only... yeah..

ahh.. yes..i think i'll be getting a new hp and subscription line tmrw... hahaha.. yeah~!! rock on! and sayang's still shopping i think.. hahahaha... i missed her... a lot.. *smiles*

till later!

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one